4 Reasons to Stop Looking Outside Yourself For Happiness

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By Matt Cooke • November 13th, 2012 • 7966 Views

4 Reasons to Stop Looking Outside Yourself For Happiness

We are complete. No assembly required. No owner’s manual to read. We know the instructions. Most of the time we are conditioned, then continue to let others get in the way, telling us that we need to read, and live by their owner’s manual. Of course this can be helpful for getting started on our path, but then we have to take responsibility and own that path.

1. Carve your own path. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Imitation is suicide”. Too much of the time, we read magazines that tell us what weight we “should” be at, what celebrities products we “should” buy, or what our goals and ambitions “should” look like. Or worse, we look to family members to decide our life path. Instead swing the question around to yourself. What are you wanting, right now? Stop asking for permission to live your greatest life!  This is when we dig in and get dirty and bruised. Take that shovel to the ground, and carve your unique path. You know it’s yours when no one has ever done it quite like you.

2. Create a new mantra. “I am Innately Unique, Infinite, Eternal and Whole”. By exclaiming to ourselves that we are complete and infinite just the way we are, we supercharge our feelings of self-efficacy. Making the choice to be infinite and eternal takes so much pressure off being “perfect” in this lifetime, and getting burnt out with quick fixes, and diet pills. We can then just have fun, striving towards our ideal vision of ourselves. This better sets us up for mastery, and self-actualization, knowing we have to be patient and persistent in living our ideals and virtues. How do we do that? By showing up for yoga, running, eating healthy, journaling or creating.

3. “Acting” as your Highest Self. How do we show up with happiness? By playing the highest-self game. Journal, draw, or describe out loud what your envisioned highest self looks like. Then, move throughout the day from a place of “acting” like your highest self in this given situation. Then this unattainable goal becomes a more playful way towards mastery, knowing you have forever to perfect it! By being in integrity with your highest vision of yourself, happiness begins to flourish. The farther away we are from our ideal, depression and ick begin to set in. Boo!

4. Soften into who you are. I love the idea of “softening”...


Matt Cooke

Location:  Vancouver, CA

Starting college as a BFA in Musical Theater, Matt quickly gained a lead role as a freshman, being Berger, in Hair: The Musical.  After receiving this huge ego boost, he then got hit with a flurry of reality...